#as long as it makes you happy! as long as you're doing better
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alukardtheabysswalker · 3 days ago
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OP you can delete this and block (no like fr be as liberal as you want about blocking people) I just wanted to take this as a jumping point for something I've been advocating for a long time:
It's really really cool to be deeply in love with your friends even if they don't love you back (that way). Better yet, it can provide some incredible happiness to you.
Now I should say at least that I have never encountered anyone that feels this way (save maybe a butch friend of mine but butches are always a blessing on this earth so it makes sense) and it is important that you, whoever you are, take your feelings into account. If remaining friends with someone you're in love who doesn't love you back hurts you, unfortunately yes it might be better to distance yourself from them and that sucks for the both of them.
BUT consider as well, that not only can you remain friends you can still be in love with them without them loving you back, hell maybe you don't even want a relationship with them.
Again remember that I'm a freak™ but I've always enjoyed the feeling of falling in love, I think all alloromantics do, so feeling unrequited love towards someone that loves you as a friend can give you that dose of happiness so often.
You know that common idea of the man that will never go to Mecca because despite being devout thinking of going there, the yearning and desire for it is enough? I'm simplifying I know, I apologize, but what's important is that I hope I can somewhat convey the feeling of what I'm saying.
Romance does not go two ways, hell you can be romantic towards someone you don't love, it is about acts of self sacrifice and or kindness you make for others and that in and of itself does feel really nice.
I am in love with no less than TWO aroace friends which by definition means they will never love me back (that way, they still love me as friends). And it feels so nice! It's just nice to see them and feel like a high schooler twirling my pigtails and kicking my feet. It feels nice to have a boost of confidence when they tell me nice things, it feels nice when my mood improves when they talk to me, it feels incredibly awesome when I see them and I see them blooming with happiness because despite not being in love with me they love me so much!!!!!
Again I don't know that this can work for a lot of people (and I certainly don't believe many if any experiences are universal for humans) but I do think if you're willing to try and just say:"Hey, I'm in love with you, but that doesn't mean I expect anything from you, I don't want things to change, I just want you to know so we can set appropriate boundaries about it" then you might find a sort of freedom in not expecting the other person to love you back (that way) and enjoy just being in love!
part of the reason I think it’s so sad that we collectively write so few stories about unrequited love is bc I feel like there’s very little public acknowledgment of how much it sucks to be the one somebody is in unrequited love with??? and not in a way of like, oh they’re crossing boundaries or putting expectations on me or whatever. becoming close friends with someone and then finding out they’re in love with you and you don’t love them back the same way is heartbreaking, bc a) someone you love is in pain and there is literally nothing you can do about it, and b) it usually means that whether you like it or not there’s going to be distance in your friendship that wasn’t there before as they try to get over you. idk man I just feel like we’ve all discussed the tragedy of loving someone who doesn’t love you back quite a lot and very rarely discuss the tragedy of finding out the way that you love someone just isn’t enough.
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the-modern-typewriter · 1 day ago
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been following your work for years !! if you wouldn't mind, might i humbly request some kidnapped and scared hero x exasperated "i'm not gonna hurt you stop struggling" carewhumper villian? xx sending love xx
"I'm not going to hurt you. Stop struggling."
The hero did not stop struggling. They thrashed harder, twisting their wrists raw in their bindings, throwing their weight this way and that no matter the long drop from the villain's shoulder to the floor. They felt as graceless as a sack of potatoes.
"Mmph! Fhnn!"
The villain sighed. "Even if someone does hear you screaming, it will just get them killed if they try and get involved. I know that's not what you want. You'd feel terrible once you stopped panicking."
The hero cursed them out even louder. They would have sank their teeth into the villain's back if they could. The sound echoed across the underground parking lot, cold damp creeping in through their clothes.
It felt as sure thing that, if they were going to escape, it had to be then. Before they were in the car. Before they were....
They smashed their head against the side of the villain's. The villain grunted in pain and then they were slamming down the hero down on the hood of a glossy black car. The breath knocked out of the hero's lungs.
"I can knock you out if you're going to keep being difficult," the villain said. "You'll simply wake up in front of the boss. No time to process. Is that what you want?"
Fear seized the hero's heart. They stilled on the car, panting through the gag, chest heaving. They glared up at the villain as the villain carefully brushed the hair from their face, one hand casually splayed between the hero's shoulders to keep them pinned.
The villain raised their brows.
A door opened, conversation drifting through. Idle. Happy. The hero froze.
"Come back in ten minutes," the villain simply called out, cheerfully. They kept their eyes fixed on the hero. "I have faith in your intelligence, random stranger."
The hero screamed.
They heard someone swear, quietly, heard mutters of "is that-?"
"-Oh god-"
They struggled, head whipping around frantically, body bucking. They tried begging for help again because surely, surely-
Then, they heard the sound of retreating footsteps and the car park door slamming closed.
The villain caught a fistful of their hair to hold them in place. They subdued even the attempt at thrashing, until the hero was exhausted and spent.
"You're going to brain yourself," the villain said, softly. "I'm not being blamed because you turn up bruised and bloody. Take a few deep breaths. They're fine. You're not going anywhere. I'm not going to hurt you. So, you may as well relax, and make this as pleasant for yourself as it's going to get. We've all got a job to do here, yeah?"
The strangers were fine. The strangers had just walked away. It shouldn't have felt so much like betrayal, but it did. Frustrated tears sprang to their eyes.
The villain sighed again. "Breathe. You're alright. You claustrophobic?"
"Mhn."
"There you go," the villain said. "That's better, isn't it?"
It wasn't better, but the hero was breathing. In, out. In, out.
"Good," the villain said. "Now. Back seat, boot, or unconscious? Tap the car once for the first option, twice for the second option, etc..."
The hero stared up at the villain, shocked and reeling and overwhelming. The villain petted their hair.
"Not everyone is as altruistic as you," the villain said, more gently. "If it makes you feel better, even if they'd tried, they couldn't have done anything for you. It would have just got worse. So, are we done? Are you good?"
The hero wasn't good. They were the opposite of good. But exhaustion was a heavy thing, almost as crippling as hopelessness, and they didn't want to wake up in front of them. Unprepared.
The villain might be the last painless hours they'd get. The last chance to steel themselves.
The hero tapped the car hood once. They sagged.
"That's what I thought," the villain said. They hauled the hero up again, as if it were easy, and opened the car door. "Come on, kid. Let's roll. We've got a long drive ahead of us."
At least, for a moment, the hero let themselves stop struggling.
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wendichester · 3 days ago
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can I request reader x soulless!sam, like they were dating before he lost his soul (and in looooovvvve<3) and she was so happy he was back but missed how he used to be, like he now openly flirts with literally everyone and he doesn’t care about her at all and it hurts her, maybe he snaps at her or he sleeps with some random girl (the hippie chick, some waitress) and she finds out or something else?
love you 💋
-💌
⋆˚꩜。 half a heart doesn't beat right,
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summary. sam lost his soul and with it, you lost him.
pairing. soulless!sam winchester x reader genre. angst
wordcount. 579
notes / warnings. complaints are not accepted. i am just completing the request 🛑 // heartbreak & emotional neglect, depiction of toxic relationship dynamics, implied infidelity, reader being dismissed/invalidated
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You waited for him. Through the nights when he didn't call, through the rumors and whispers, through Dean's eyes when he couldn't look at you. Through the clawing hope that he’d still walk back into your arms like nothing ever changed.
And then he did.
Sort of.
Sam's taller, colder. The weight of him feels different, even when he’s standing right next to you. His smile doesn’t reach his eyes—hell, half the time it's not even his smile. It's a stranger's. Plastic. Crooked in a way that makes your stomach turn, but you still chase it like you’re chasing something holy.
You tell yourself he’s just adjusting.
That it’s normal. That he just needs time. That the soul, or lack of one, doesn't erase what you had.
But it does.
It has.
It starts small. A hand on a waitress’s waist. A wink at the blonde in a crop top who asks about local motel recommendations.
“I’m right here,” you whisper once, fingers brushing his arm.
He doesn’t even look at you.
“You’re not blind, are you?” he says without blinking, eyes still locked on the girl behind the counter. “She’s hot.”
The first time he snaps, it’s because you ask him if he’s okay. (You shouldn't have. You knew better. You keep doing that—looking for Sam inside him.)
“I’m fine,” he says flatly.
You press, too soft. Too loving.
“Sam—”
“I said I’m fine,” he growls. “Jesus. You always do this. You cling.”
The word hits like a slap. You flinch before you can help it, and his eyes flick over you like you're a fly on the wall. Nothing more.
You catch him in the parking lot of some dive bar in Nebraska. She's got long legs and a hemp necklace and her laugh sounds like wind chimes. The kind of girl you would’ve called sweet, once.
He’s leaning against the hood of the Impala, her hand under his shirt, mouth on his neck.
He sees you.
And doesn’t move.
Doesn’t even blink.
Later, in the motel room—your motel room—he shows up like nothing happened. Like he didn't spend the last thirty minutes letting someone else kiss parts of him that you haven’t touched in weeks.
You sit on the edge of the bed. Still dressed. Still shaking.
“I saw you,” you whisper.
“So?” he says, kicking off his boots. “She wanted to. I didn’t stop her.”
“Are you serious?”
“Don’t start,” he sighs, rubbing a hand over his face. “It’s not a big deal. You’re making it a big deal.”
“I love you, Sam.”
“You loved a version of me that doesn’t exist anymore,” he says, voice flat. “That guy? He died in that cage. You don’t get to hold me to his promises.”
You cry in the bathroom later, silently, while the shower runs to drown out the sound. He’s already asleep on the bed. Or pretending to be. Either way, he doesn’t come looking.
You wonder if he ever will again.
And the worst part?
You still wait.
Every goddamn day, you wake up hoping he’ll feel something. Anything. That he’ll remember the way he used to look at you. The way he said your name like it was something to believe in. The way he held you after hunts with trembling hands like he was scared to lose you.
But he’s not scared anymore.
He’s nothing.
And you’re still here.
Waiting for a man who doesn’t even flinch when he breaks your heart.
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ꔛ. navigation 𓂃˖ ࣪ all drabbles ; compatibility readings ; support my work .ᐟ
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mattslilies · 2 days ago
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Bonding - C.S.
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"how can i help, baby?" or... the chris version of this fic. the one where you're struggling to bond with your new baby, and it's making you wish you weren't a mother in the first place. warnings: postpartum depression, general anxiety, crying, chris being a sweetheart and the best boy dad, unresolved angst!!! word count: 519 a/n: dividers from @kodaswrld! requested by anon!
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your eyes slowly blinked open, hearing the screams of your newborn son from the other room. exhaustion crept over all of your features, your eyes sunken in and your face tired as the noise pierced your ears. you made no move to get out of the bed you'd been laying in all day, instead rolling over and putting a pillow over your head, as if that would cancel it all out.
you heard chris walk around in the hallway, and watched the baby monitor, seeing him immediately scoop his son out of the crib, changing him, and rocking him as he moved back to the living room, grabbing a formula made bottle and whispering to him as he fed him. you listened as your son quieted down, taking the bottle from his father, face happy and content in his arms.
it wasn't fair. none of it was fair.
you'd carried him, grown him inside your boy, sung lullabies to him every night, gone to doctor appointment after doctor appointment, taken every vitamin possible, and gone through the entire painful process of childbirth. and he couldn't even look at you without crying.
you'd done everything right, but all your son wanted was chris.
part of you was angry. how could you do so much for someone, and they could be so unappreciative? but the other part of you, the bigger part of you, was just sad. a depressing, deep, crushing sadness that wouldn't leave you alone.
over the short few weeks that you had been home from the hospital, you'd slowly begun to shrink into a shell of your former self. you stopped trying to hold him when he cried, stopped trying to change him after a nap. you stopped trying to feed him because he wouldn't latch, and eventually switched to formula because you completely stopped pumping for him. and now? you barely even left your bed
chris had picked up the slack every time. he'd never complained, not even once, about the screaming, the crying, always having to do everything. he loved his son, and he loved you, and he would do anything to lighten the mental load you were already under.
but sometimes, you didn't have a choice. chris had to work, he had to do things to keep your family afloat while you were on maternity leave. every time you took care of your son, you felt nothing but sadness, anger, and disconnection.
you weren't getting those cute baby laughs, the newborn scrunches, the adorable fisted hands in your shirt. instead, you listened to your son scream and cry until his father came back to hold him. every time chris came home and took him out of your arms, he immediately calmed, regardless of whatever you had tried. it only served to hurt you more.
you'd tried everything.
you'd gone to therapy, you'd spent more time with your son, you'd done absolutely everything to try and reconcile your relationship with him, but nothing was working.
"how can i help, baby?"
chris asked that every day. and each day, you didn't have an answer for him. he was an angel, but he would only be an angel for so long.
what happens if it never gets better?
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notaaronsroommate · 2 days ago
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We have spent the last 20ish years trying to eliminate not liking people. you are a good and socially conscious person, you can't find someone annoying, no one is allowed to be annoying or grating or creepy or offputting. to think so is ableist/ transphobic/ etc. SO! You still don't like that person and desperately want to get away from them. But your constructed online morality forbids you from just finding them irksome. What do you do? Figure out what their sin is. Find a problematic tweet, read into the themes of a fanfic to decide theyve got bad sexuality (not that they're queer! We like that! Not kink shaming! that's also bad. But uh. they've got... misogynistic sexual kinks? there we go!) just anything. But see here's the problem. we've decided that the only viable option for someone your socially punishing for deviant behavior (I mean. being Problematic) is to go all the way. try to get their friends to abandon them, maybe even doxx them and talk to their employer. So, you can't just say "I've decide this annoying person is [insert accusation] so I can safely not interact with them and not feel like a bad person." You have to make this into a group thing, and it you can't ever give up. So, someone who was maybe just kind of a pain in the ass, maybe just neurodivergent and weird, now you've got to bury the shame of ever having a non shiny happy enlightened human emotion about another person. You've got hound this person unto death. It was way way better when we all just bullied someone because they were weird and offputting. At least that way you eventually got bored, or felt bad, or could learn a lesson. Once you decide you're doing something justified and good by harassing and ostracizing someone, there's no way to learn a lesson or change. You'd have to admit that the same caliber of hearsay, innuendo, and circumstantial evidence you'd used for cancelling someone was bullshit. which might mean that the other times when a neurodivergent person got dogpiled by the internet over the same level of evidence was also bullshit. If you think you're doing something good and politically correct, it means that now your cruelty can't just be a character flaw you can reject later on. It's now tied to your entire political philosophy. Just say you find someone annoying. It's ok if they're annoying because they're neurodivergent or they're the person with fifty flags in bio and a mile long ca.ard and a million DNI's. It is infinitely preferable to just say they're cringe and obnoxious than to find some secret hidden transgression they've committed.
In my opinion it's a lot more healthy to be able to own that you dislike someone for petty reasons than to do all kinds of mental gymnastics to make everyone you don't really vibe with out to be a bad person actually
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orellazalonia · 1 day ago
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i love your blog and writing style so much! reading x reader fics is my only type of comfort (besides my cat) so you're making my days better and more bearable i'm really thankful for that! 😭🌷
soo i wanted to ask you to write a fic for me 🥺 i literally have NO ONE like no friends (i have 3 or 2 but not 'friends' friends you know?) and my family is messed up i feel like i have no one in my corner and i would love love love if you write something like reader is lonely and bucky goes in her life and etc etc i would be SO thankful if you choose to write this and if you don't, don't worry you're already making my days better while writing your fics 🤍🩶
Hello, dear! I’m glad you have enjoyed my work and that they’ve been of comfort to you! I appreciate the kind words. It was nice completing your request since I could relate to some of it and always enjoy writing some hurt/comfort. However, I do hope you find some good friends or people you can turn to someday! Thank you for the request and I hope you enjoy! Happy reading!!!
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Stayed Through it All
Summary: You’d spent most of your life convinced you were too quiet, too much, not enough for anyone to stay. But then Bucky Barnes started showing up in your life slowly and gradually became the first person who made you feel like you didn’t have to be anyone or anything else to be enough.
Word Count: 3.6k+
Main Masterlist
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You didn’t mean to let it get this bad.
You didn’t even notice when the loneliness stopped feeling like something temporary and started becoming something permanent.
It was probably after your friend stopped texting back to hang out with their new friend. Maybe it was after your father stopped returning your calls, blaming you for being “too much” when all you’d done was cry quietly on the phone one night. Maybe it was the way your mother’s voice always sharpened when you dared to mention being tired. “You think you have it hard?”
Eventually, you stopped sharing at all. Even in the smallest ways. You nodded along to your coworkers' stories, laughed at the right times, learned to say “I’m good, you?” like a reflex.
But one day turned into a week, then a month of missed calls and unanswered messages. Not that there were many to begin with. Your friends, if you could still call them that, had slowly drifted, slipping into group chats you were no longer in. Family remained… complicated. Cold shoulders wrapped in guilt-trips and sharp words. You’d grown tired of pretending you didn’t notice when they began talking around you instead of to you, or when they only reached out to check boxes you didn’t fit in rather than check on you.
Work had been your only escape, but even that now felt fragile. Hours were cut, supervisors were vague or micro-managing, and you faced an endless stream of people who smiled right through you. It was like being invisible while still somehow feeling too much.
Too sensitive. Too strange. Too needy. You hated how easily you cried these days. How easily you cracked.
It got harder to go home after work with each passing day. The silence in your apartment was different now. It wasn’t peaceful anymore, it reminded you of every thought and thing wrong about yourself. How you must have done something wrong for people to not want you around. How you couldn’t host dinners or parties because there was no one to invite. How even living in this apartment was seen as another disappointment rather than an achievement by your family.
Maybe that’s why you started walking at night, even though you claimed it helped you sleep. Sometimes it did. Sometimes you wandered until your legs ached, until your phone’s battery blinked red. It wasn’t safe, but you didn’t care. You weren’t reckless, you just didn’t feel like you belonged anywhere long enough to be missed.
That night, you weren’t planning to go far. You’d just needed air. You hadn't even bothered with proper shoes, just slipped on your jacket and walked. The streetlamps buzzed overhead as a breeze tugged your hair across your face.
You focused on the ground as you rounded the corner of a quiet street, when you almost ran straight into him.
“Oh–sorry,” You said, stepping back instinctively, your hand pressed to your chest. “I wasn’t paying attention.”
The man raised his hands slightly in a gesture of peace. His eyes were sharper than the streetlamp above you, but not unkind. “You okay?”
You blinked. He was wearing a hoodie and gloves, but you’d seen enough photos on newsfeeds and headlines to know exactly who he was. “You’re… Bucky Barnes.”
He looked surprised for a split second, like he hadn’t expected to be recognized. “Yeah,” he said softly. “I am.”
You gave a small, breathless laugh. Not because it was funny, but because your nerves were starting to catch up. “Didn’t expect to bump into an Avenger tonight.”
“Didn’t expect to get bumped into,” He replied, something vaguely teasing in his tone. “But it’s alright.”
There was a pause. You shifted awkwardly, hugging your arms around yourself. “Sorry if I messed up some kind of mission or something.”
His brow furrowed, then smoothed. “Not exactly a mission, just walking the neighborhood. Making sure things are quiet.”
You nodded. “They usually are.”
He tilted his head slightly, studying you in that quiet way that made you feel like he was seeing too much. “You’re out here a lot.”
You hesitated. “That supposed to be a warning?”
His expression softened immediately. “No–no, I didn’t mean it like that. Just… noticed. That’s all.”
You gave a small shrug, trying not to look embarrassed. “It’s quieter out here than it is at home.”
Something in his eyes changed, recognition. “Yeah,” He said quietly. “I get that.”
You looked at him then. His hood couldn’t hold the weight behind his eyes nor could he hide the way exhaustion lived in his posture. You didn’t know all the details, but the world had made sure you knew enough.
“I’m fine,” You added, mostly out of habit.
“Are you?” He asked gently.
You swallowed, glancing away. “I don’t know.”
There was another moment of silence before he took a slow step back, giving you space. “Do you want company? Just to walk. I won’t talk if you don’t want me to.”
You hesitated. Your gut said no. You didn’t let people in, couldn’t. Not anymore. But your heart, the part that had been bruised and stretched thin and aching for something steady whispered yes.
“…Sure,” You said. “Walking with someone sounds… nice.”
He nodded, falling into step beside you. “And what should I call you?”
You glanced at him and smiled softly, giving him your name. And for the first time in what felt like forever, it felt like someone might care enough to remember it.
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You never said it out loud, but you started looking for him.
Not in an obvious way. Not with expectation. But your heart would lift, just a little, whenever you turned the corner and saw him there. Hands in his pockets, hood pulled low, and watching the world like it might turn on him at any second until he saw you. Then he softened.
He never greeted you loudly. Just a simple, “Hey,” or a nod, like you’d both agreed long ago that this was normal.
And somehow, it became exactly that. Normal.
It wasn’t every night of course, but it was often enough that absence felt strange. A small ache in your chest when he wasn’t on the corner. You told yourself it was fine, that he had a life, a job, a past filled with shadows. You weren’t owed anything.
But you missed him anyway.
There were other nights where you spoke in fragments.
“What do you do when you can’t stop thinking?” You’d asked once, voice barely audible.
“Walk,” He’d said. “Or hit things.”
You’d laughed, and he’d smiled, just a little.
Other nights, it was quiet. Just walking. Just being near someone who didn’t expect anything from you. Someone who didn’t need you to perform happiness or push down your grief.
Bucky never asked about your family. He never pried. But you could tell he knew something wasn’t right. He noticed the tension in your shoulders. The way your voice got flat when you mentioned home. The way you avoided talking about weekends or holidays altogether.
But he didn’t force you to explain. He just stayed.
And on one Tuesday night, you realized something.
You’d left work exhausted, your brain buzzing from a manager’s sharp words and the hollow ache of pretending to be okay all day. You weren’t thinking about much when you turned the corner that night and there he was.
Same spot. Same faint, crooked smile when he saw you.
And it hit you: he was waiting.
Not just showing up. Not just passing by. He was waiting for you.
You swallowed thickly, not trusting yourself to say much.
“Hey,” You managed.
“Hey,” He said, falling into step beside you.
Like always. Like routine. Like something steady that just kept growing.
Because the next night, he was there again. This time, with two paper cups.
“Tea,” He said simply, holding one out to you. “Figured I’d guess this time.”
You took it, your hands feeling the warmth from the cup.
“…You always this nice?” You asked softly, only half teasing.
He glanced at you. “No.”
You smiled faintly. “So why with me?”
He looked away, the way he always did when he was thinking too much. “Because you remind me of me,” He said finally. “Back when I thought no one saw me.”
Your breath caught in your throat.
“…I see you,” You whispered.
He looked at you then, something softening in his expression. “I know.”
And that was the night you stopped pretending it didn’t mean anything. The night you realized you weren’t just walking anymore. You were building something. And Bucky Barnes was becoming part of it.
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One afternoon, you didn’t expect to see him in the daytime.
Your connection lived in the quiet hours. After sunset, under flickering streetlamps, where shadows were long and words were soft. That was your world. The only time you felt allowed to exist without needing to explain yourself.
But then came Saturday and there he was.
You spotted him from across the street. His hands in the pockets of his jacket. He looked more like a guy running errands than a former assassin on patrol.
He saw you at the same time, gave a little lift of his chin and crossed the street with purpose. You froze halfway to the bus stop, unsure why your stomach flipped the way it did.
“Hey,” He said, a little breathless, like he’d hurried.
“Hi,” You replied, confused but smiling anyway. “Didn’t think I’d see you in daylight. Thought you were strictly nocturnal.”
Bucky actually chuckled, quiet and rare. “Yeah, well… I wasn’t sure if this would be weird.”
Your brow furrowed. “What?”
He rubbed the back of his neck. “I was gonna grab lunch. There’s this spot a few blocks away. It’s tiny, but kind of quiet. I figured I’d ask if you wanted to come.”
You blinked. It took you a full second too long to register what he meant.
“Oh,” You said. “Like… lunch. Together?”
“Yeah,” He said, then quickly added, “Just food. I mean, not like–unless you–hell, I’m bad at this.”
You bit back a laugh. “You’re fine. I just… didn’t expect that.”
“I figured,” He said, eyes scanning your face. “If you say no, it’s okay. We can just stick with nightly walks.”
That made your heart ache in a way you didn’t expect.
Because part of you wanted to say no. Not because you didn’t want to go. But because some part of you was convinced you’d ruin it. That he’d realize you weren’t enough.
That someone like him who was kind, observant, and careful, wasn’t meant to stick around people like you. People who carried too much in their chest and didn’t know how to set it down.
But then you looked at him. Bucky Barnes who had every reason to close himself off and still offered you tea when you were shaking, and quiet when you needed space.
And he was asking to spend time with you. Not out of pity. Not out of obligation. Just… asking.
You nodded. “Okay.”
He blinked. “Yeah?”
You smiled. “Yeah. Lead the way.”
The place was small and tucked between a bookstore and a laundromat. It was the kind of quiet that didn’t feel empty, just calm. You sat across from each other at a little table by the window. And for the first time, you talked in full sentences. About music. Food. The ridiculous number of people who apparently still thought Bucky liked plums because of some file Steve mentioned once.
You laughed more than you had in weeks. He smiled more than you’d ever seen.
You caught him watching you a few times, like he couldn’t quite believe you were there. And every time, your heart did that quiet, painful twist that came with realizing someone actually wanted you around.
You didn’t talk about family. Or trauma. Or loneliness. But you didn’t need to. Not yet.
Because for now, you let yourself sit across from a man who kept showing up. And for once, you didn’t feel like a burden for accepting it.
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When it ended, you both had exchanged numbers and you smiled the whole way home. Not a big, giddy grin. Not the kind that buzzed with new love or rose-colored excitement. Just a small, warm curl at the corner of your mouth that wouldn’t go away.
Because the lunch had been… easy. Natural.
You didn’t remember the last time you’d felt like that with someone. Just sitting across from them and not having to work so hard to be interesting, or likable, or fun. You hadn’t needed to fill the silence, because Bucky never made silence feel like failure.
And he’d even paid, grumbled a little about modern pricing, but still held the door open when you walked out.
You should’ve felt safe. Happy. But of course, that voice came back. The one that always did when something good happened.
He was just being polite. He probably felt bad for you. You talked too much. Or not enough. Or said something weird. He’s probably second-guessing it now.
You told yourself to stop, that none of it was true. But you’d lived most of your life watching people lose interest in you like clockwork. So instead of walking with that same lightness you felt at the table, you found yourself shrinking again.
Head down. Hands in your jacket pockets. Smile fading, bit by bit
And to your surprise, texted later that evening.
Just a simple:
Made it home okay?
You stared at it for a full minute.
Then typed:
Yeah, thanks. And… thanks again for lunch. I really appreciated it.
You added a second message, hesitating.
You didn’t have to do all that.
You almost deleted it. But your finger slipped, and it sent.
A minute later, he responded:
Didn’t do it because I had to.
Another pause and he sent another message.
I wanted to.
You stared at those three words for a long time.
The next night, you almost didn’t go on your walk. You weren’t sure if he’d be there. If it would be weird now. If the quiet thing you’d built would somehow be different just because you’d shared a meal like two normal people.
But you went anyway. And when you rounded that corner, heart in your throat, he was there. Same spot. Same faint smile when he saw you.
“You came,” He said.
You swallowed. “So did you.”
“Of course I did.”
And just like that, without needing to explain the ache in your chest or the thoughts still clawing at the back of your mind, he started walking beside you again. As if the doubt within you never stood a chance.
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However, good things never last.
You hadn’t meant to cry.
You’d gotten good at holding things in. Good at keeping your voice even, your expression neutral, your heart locked up behind carefully stacked defenses. You knew how to keep walking. How to keep breathing through the ache.
But some days, some days it didn’t matter how strong you tried to be. And that night, everything hurt.
It wasn’t even about something new. Nothing fresh or sharp. It was the old stuff, the words that never really healed. The ones that resurfaced in this mornings phone call with your father, when he’d said it without hesitation. “You’re just too hard to love, you know that?”
It had gutted you then and it still did.
Because even if you didn’t show it, you’d started to believe it.
The way friends drifted away. The way family only called when they needed something or to criticize. The way people got tired of your quiet, your sadness, your needs. Even when you tried to shrink yourself, to not ask for anything… it was never enough.
You were always too much, and somehow not enough all at once.
So when you walked that night, when you saw Bucky waiting in his usual spot, you almost turned back.
But he saw you. And the moment he did, something in his expression shifted.
You didn’t say anything.
You just walked right up to him, stopped short, and stood there with your arms crossed tight over your chest, like if you let them drop, everything would spill out.
Bucky’s voice was soft. “You alright?”
You shook your head once, too quickly as your voice cracked when you whispered, “Why do you keep showing up?”
He blinked. “What?”
You looked at him then, eyes confused. “Why do you keep coming back? Why do you keep… being nice to me?”
He took a step closer, cautious. “Because I like being around you.”
“You shouldn’t.” The words burst out before you could stop them. “I’m not…– people don’t stay. They get tired of me. They always do.”
“Who said that to you?” He asked quietly, his voice low, steady.
You laughed bitterly. “Does it matter… Friends. Family. Pretty much everyone I ever let get too close.”
You looked away, blinking hard.
“They all said the same thing… that I’m just too hard to love.”
It was out now. Ugly, raw, and terrifying. You waited for him to flinch. To pull away. To prove them right. But he didn’t.
He stepped closer, slow and sure. He didn’t say anything at first. Instead, he reached out, one hand hovering at your shoulder until you gave the tiniest nod.
Then his palm pressed gently against your arm.
“They were wrong,” He said.
You swallowed hard. “You don’t know that.”
“I do,” He said firmly. “Because I know me. And I don’t waste time on people I don’t care about.”
Your throat tightened.
He wasn’t trying to fix it. He wasn’t telling you to be positive or that it would pass. He wasn’t saying it didn’t matter.
He was just there. With you.
“You’re not hard to love,” He spoke softer now. “You were just surrounded by people who didn’t know how.”
And that broke something loose.
The first tear slid down your cheek. Then another. You tried to speak, to apologize, but your voice disappeared behind a sob that ripped straight out of your chest.
You folded into yourself, ashamed, but Bucky caught you. Without hesitation, he pulled you into his arms. Not tight. Not smothering. Just enough.
Enough to say I’m here. Enough to say You’re not too much for me. Enough to say I’m not going anywhere.
And in his arms, safe for once, you let yourself cry.
Really cry.
For the first time in a long, long time.
When the tears had finally stopped, you felt worn out like a storm fading to drizzle. You’d stood in the dark with Bucky for longer than you realized, his arms wrapped gently around you. He never rushed you. Never asked you to talk more or explain.
And when you finally stepped back, breath unsteady but lighter somehow, he didn’t say a word about the crying. Just looked at you like you were whole.
“…I’m okay now,” You’d whispered, not sure if you believed it yet.
His head tilted slightly. “You want to walk?”
You nodded.
And you walked until you were both sitting on a cracked bench outside a 24-hour café near a closed bookstore. He’d offered to buy you something, no pressure, just a question, and you said yes without thinking.
It felt… nice. Like last time. Letting someone do something for you without guilt clinging to it.
You had a small paper cup between your hands of warm chai, still steaming. He had black coffee, of course. Of course he drank it black.
Neither of you spoke for a while, but the quiet wasn’t awkward. It was gentle. Companionable. Like your sadness didn’t scare him. He wasn’t expecting you to bounce back or smile to make him feel better.
He was just there.
You took a small sip, then glanced over at him. He was watching the empty street like he was half on patrol, half at peace.
“Thanks for the tea,” You murmured.
He looked at you then, eyes soft. “Thanks for trusting me.”
You looked down at your drink. “I didn’t mean to cry like that.”
“I know,” He said. “It’s okay.”
You hesitated, then asked softly, “But why didn’t you walk away?”
He didn’t answer right away. He just leaned back on the bench, hands wrapped around his cup like it grounded him.
“Because I know what it’s like,” He said finally. “To think you’re too broken or too much. To think you’ve ruined the moment just by being yourself.”
You glanced at him, surprised at the honesty.
He kept his gaze forward. “I’ve been there. I still go there. But… I also know how much it means when someone stays anyway.”
Your heart ached in a different way now. Not from pain. From being understood.
“Thank you,” You whispered.
“Anytime.”
You sat in silence again, drinking your tea slowly, letting the warmth from the cup seep into your fingers.
The city was so quiet this late. No shouting. Barely any cars. Just wind and dim streetlights.
Eventually, you looked over and gave him a small smile. “You think next time we could get donuts or something instead?”
Bucky’s mouth twitched, his version of a grin. “You saying I’m not a good coffee date?”
You rolled your eyes, but your smile widened. “You’re passable.”
He let out a soft huff of amusement. “Alright, donuts next time. But only if they have the jelly-filled ones.”
You nudged his arm lightly. “You got a deal.”
And just like that, something fragile began to stitch itself back together inside you.
It may not have been fixed or finished. But it was held together by his love and care.
And for now, that was more than enough.
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powderpuff-divines · 10 hours ago
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pick a pile: what makes people's hearts flutter around you
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thank you so much for the love on the previous reading!! i was so happy to see that so many of you enjoyed it. i hope that this one resonates too. once again, it is a general reading. only take what applies, leave the rest and please forgive any grammatical or spelling errors xx
pile 1 ˚. ✦.˳·˖✶ ⋆.✧̣̇˚.
(judgement, ace of pentacles, queen of pentacles, page of pentacles, page of wands)
there's just something intimidating about you pile one (you may or may not have a resting b-face) but there's also something about you that makes people want to impress you. whatever way you express your dissatisfaction- whether it's the way you curl your lips in distaste or scrunch your eyebrows- it sets people on edge. it makes them nervous but also very eager to please you.
you could come from a well to do family, like a long line or surgeons, etc. (if not, that's the vibes you give) or even if it's not wealth, it feels like you come from a very reputed family.
but regardless of your family, you have built have a very good reputation for yourself amongst your peers. your work ethic is also very good- you put your head down and get to work, and even that makes people's hearts flutter sometimes. you elicit awe and admiration quite easily.
capable. that's the energy i'm getting from this pile. someone capable who wants to work hard, who wants money, who wants status, who wants recognition. majority of the people from this pile are the go-getters, the type to want to work in student body councils or win a lot of trophies (i'm getting more academic/corporate achievement than sporty though).
there's also another section of people who picked this pile who wouldn't necessarily call themselves hard-working, they'd prefer to call themselves lazy even but regardless of how you label yourself, you just breeze through your work anyway. in the eyes of others, it looks effortless. the people around you take one look at you and just know you're going to achieve great things with your career
regardless of all this admiration, i don't think you're friends with many people. there may only be a few in your inner circle. there's something about other people wanting to be a part of your personal life so bad. i'm seeing this image someone who randomly posts a Instagram story of them surfing and the people viewing it are so shocked ("pile two surfs? i never knew that about them. that's so cool!") they're intrigued by you and want to know you better but you don't let people that close easily. you might just have really strict work-life boundaries and are very particular about who in your life gets to see how much about you.
and because of who you are, what you've accomplished and how you carry yourself, your approval means something to the people around you, especially if it's something you don't dole out to just anyone.
your approval; that's what gets their heart fluttering-- a nod from you when they show you what they've done, a pat on the back, a smile on your lips as you give praise, even if it's off-handed, it gives them something to feel good about for the rest of the day.
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pile 2 ˚. ✦.˳·˖✶ ⋆.✧̣̇˚.
(chariot, 8 of pentacles , ace of cups, seven of swords, ten of pentacles) (oh my god 😭 who are you peopleeee. i would not be surprised if multiple people were crushing on this pile.)
pile 2, you're popular and you definitely know it to some extent too. this pile is a bit similar to pile 1 in some ways but still vastly different you could have lot of admirers and people who want to get close to you and i do see you engaging with these people, because you do enjoy the attention (nothing wrong with that), but i also get the feeling you're very controlling and picky over your image and how you come off to people. even while trying to channel the messages for this pile, the energy feels a bit reserved and doesn't want to give me too much.
there's one particular thing you could be known for, some sort of craft you've worked hard at or you're really talented at. this could be something like dance or music but that's where most of your popularity comes from. you have a good network of friends and people who you can pass time with.
i'm ngl, lowkey getting some player energy from this pile but not necessarily in the bad way. it's just some of you are aware of effect you have, and you have fun teasing people, toying with them, making them blush. oh, pile 2 you like making people's hearts flutter, you do it on purpose. you like knowing that you have the power to make people flustered.
what makes people's heart flutter is the rush they get when your eyes meet, the flirtatious lilt in your voice, maybe a smirk on your lips as you tease them in a very nonchalant manner, when you say something and playfully tell them that it's a secret only the two of you will know, when you make them feel like they are the sole focus of your attention. heart are fluttering left and right because of you.
i don't know if this pile will resonate with a lot of people or if the things mentioned here are too specific, but bottom line is that there's a very flirtatious and seductive vibe to your energy. you guys might be bored the majority of the time but man, when you're interested in someone, you tease and play with them until you get a reaction. even if you're not like this currently, you have great potential at charming people my pile twos.
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pile 3 ˚ . ✦.˳·˖✶ ⋆.✧̣̇˚.
( 6 of cups, the empress, nine of pentacles, eight of pentacles, temperance rev)
pile 3, are you really uncomfortable with being perceived by any chance? i had the most difficult time channeling the energy of the people who chose this pile out of all three piles. i think you keep to yourself for most of the time but there's also this adorable energy around you, like that of a cat that just puts its head down and sleeps whenever it gets the chance to.
you could not like attention and maybe most of your days, you put your head down and focus on getting through. that's not to say you have a sad life. maybe you're not where you want to be yet, but you do have hobbies, things you enjoy and to pass the time with.
there's something casually cool about you. i cannot say what it is exactly since it's different for each of the people who pick this pile, but something about the way someone gets their drink from the vending machine? for someone, it's the way they hop over a gate. you have these tiny particular habits and methods of doing things that catch some people's attention without even knowing it.
i think it's your affection that makes people's hearts flutter.
this is giving me the energy of that one type of male lead/character (i'm just talking about the vibe, this could apply to you regardless of your gender) in anime that slacks off all the time but will randomly say something observant or serious that will have your heart skipping a beat. it's very endearing, i feel like you're very laid-back but still very straightforward and blunt with your affection. you'll say something simple but it'll be so earnest and the most romantic thing ever in the moment; it would exactly the thing the other person would happen to need to hear.
and it's not even intentional for most of you, it just comes naturally.
AHHH pile 3s, i get the feeling most of you don't think very highly about your work or aren't very comfortable with yourself but you should know that you're inherently a very chill and cool person. you aren't nearly as embarrassing as you think you are. be proud of your existence please!! and take up more space!!!
what makes people's hearts flutter around you aren't big gestures or big speeches, but it's just simply you in the rawest form possible. maybe it's you holding a cold soda can to someone's cheek and murmuring something that was just on your mind; a silly joke, a comment about a look on their face. it's your nonchalant affection that arrives so silently yet reassuringly steady every time. it's the way you unknowingly make the weight of the world lighter for others, even if just for a second.
this pile gives me maomao vibes? i haven't seen ad yet, just clips and edits but the way she just puts her head down and dgaf about anything except posion/her own thing and she's just inherently endearing and people adore her??? that's your vibe pile 3!!! also this is the second time anime has been referenced, so maybe that's a sign for some of yall
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i love how much you can customise your tumblr post but the gradient text is just too stressful for me to do more than twice in one post lol. do let me know which pile you picked and on how it resonated!! in all honesty, i'm a bit nervous about it since i feel like i went too specific so i hope it still resonates with people.
108 notes · View notes
rubylane · 2 days ago
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KPOP DEMON HUNTERS (2025) ⊱ rp prompt
change pronouns and adjust as needed.
you will be so much more than that.
demons have always haunted our world.
that duty falls to you.
that victory is within your reach.
that's not even a real number.
there's no water in these.
how can you be late?
i didn't even get to finish my ramyeon!
why do they always interrupt our snacking?
they will face my wrath!
now you gotta die.
ugh, you came at a bad time.
you just crossed the line.
i understand you are weak.
and you dare to mock me with it?
i'm not here to mock you.
i'm here to help you.
it's time for a new strategy.
what makes you think that could work?
you've never done a single thing that didn't serve yourself.
that was weird.
we already have plans.
i can't wait to eat kimbap and stare at the ceiling.
sounds super boring. i'm so down.
we literally just sat down.
i can handle this. i'm not having a nervous breakdown.
you always say no.
you sound exactly like her.
no. we gotta hide and fix it.
earthy and herby. smells legit to me.
hurry, before someone sees us.
in order to heal a part, we must understand the whole.
you have a lot of walls up.
watch yourself.
they're not even that cute.
i'm gonna throw up.
no, it's too public.
don't eat that!
let's go kill these guys.
hard to say goodbye when we're having fun.
make it stop.
wow. did you really follow us here?
we're not here to fight.
whoa! mind the face.
surprisingly, your plan is working.
it's a lot more serious than i thought.
is that bird wearing a tiny hat?
wow, i wasn't expecting a hug, but ...
i thought the mannequin was gonna be a fun icebreaker. but i see i was wrong.
hey! i just wanna talk.
but first, i wanna talk about those pants.
you were supposed to be dead.
i could've told your friends what you are.
that's none of your business.
i know what it feels like to have them.
is that what you think?
you're not good enough for them.
you know you can tell me. i'll understand.
i'm nothing like you.
denial. i get it.
i'll be here when you're done pretending.
there won't be a next time.
are you a prisoner too?
thanks for having my back.
we keep meeting like this.
i didn't think you liked sharing.
should i tell them?
i'm gonna tell them. eventually.
are you whispering?
your secret's safe with me.
i'm helping myself.
i'm pretty good at reading people. actually, i'm kind of an expert at it.
i just can't shake this feeling that you're keeping something from me.
i'm not keeping anything rom you.
sorry, i sound nuts.
yeah. eternal suffering. sounds fun.
you made me come all the way out here so you could jumpscare me?
i'm glad you'er finally ready to talk.
you could've picked somewhere nicer for a date.
you're so old.
this is strictly a business meeting.
i am a mistake. have been since the moment i was born.
excuse me? i'm everyone's type.
i see why you're single.
see? we'd never work.
go find yourself a better boy.
this one's hopeless.
that's the funny thing about hope. nobody else gets to decide if you feel it. that choice belongs to you.
for what it's worth, i don't think you're a mistake.
i just want you to know i'm here for literally anything you need.
seriously, what is your problem?
not everything is about your insecurities, [name]!
what's with the long faces?
you killed your family.
don't forget about our deal, [name].
i'm kind of a difficult person.
something's wrong.
i knew it was too good to be true.
don't leave!
say you didn't do this. how could you do this?
it was all a lie.
it was real! what we had was real. i know it was.
i just needed you to trust me. that's all.
that's right, i lied to you.
i thought i could fix it all.
thi sis what i am.
why can't you look at me?
why couldn't you love me?
you come here like this?
you can't even fix yourself.
i'm sorry for everything.
i wanted to set you free.
you gave me my soul back.
this feels amazing.
see what you've been missing?
i'm so happy you didn't, like, die.
wow, [name], way to be super literal.
i definitely feel recharged.
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westanleovaldito · 2 days ago
Note
Hello bestest sister of mine (wink wink) could you pretty please write about Spencer finding out you own a snake and holding it for the first time? Thank youuuuu
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Yes ofcourse dearest brother of mine >:D
Not Noodle
Reader introduces Spencer to their snake!
I have a headcanon that Spencer is either the type to love or hate creepy crawlies, zero in-between. For the sake of it, lets say he's afraid of them
CW: Snakes, fear of snakes, talk of salmonella and vomiting
𓆏 It was pleasant. Walking side by side with someone who had the potential to be with you forever. Like right now.
Spencer was taking an early morning walk with his new girlfriend- god how he loved saying it. Even thinking it. You had started talking, then going on dates, then you confessed that you wanted to put a true title to it and his heart was set aflame.
"It's not that I'm afraid of them, I just... would actively choose not to upset one."
"So, you're afraid of them?" You grinned, nudging him with your elbow.
He dodged a passerby and sighed. "Maybe I am- so what?"
You hummed in mock thought, tilting your head. "Well, I know my snake would love you-"
"Snakes can't feel love, actually. It's something in their brains called-" but he stopped, noticing the way your eyes got sad. "I-I uh- I'm sure he's very happy with you? Uhm- s-snakes understand the feeling of safety- which is still very special!"
You shook your head, putting a hand on his arm. "There's so many negative assumptions about them!" You sigh, now stopping in the middle of the path. "In my personaly experience, snakes are lovely! They're curious and they grow fond- they aren't vicious things like media portrays and it's sad!"
Spencer looked down at you, sighing. You were too kind to everything, especially things 'unloved' by most... maybe he could make you feel better if you had 'changed his mind'?
"I'd like to meet your uh... 'little guy,'" he said, watching your eyes light up.
He was probably going to regret that.
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𓆏 Now, he walked hand in hand with you to your home. It was a colder evening, and your face was partly burried in the collar of your jacket, a sight that made Spencer happy to have already memorized your features.
"She's on the smaller side- so she likes to curl up on my chest." You explained with a giddy smile.
"I fail to see how the two correlate-"
"Shush!" You laughed, playfully elbowing him. He pretended to squeak, but looked at you with a smile. "She'll like you- you have warm hands. She may also try to get further up your body, but-"
He furrowed his brow and looked down, squeezing your hand. "Have you ever gotten salmonella?"
You shook your head, squeezing his hand back. "Nope! Just wash any parts she touches!"
His smile seemed tense, and yours warm, as you pulled him into the lobby of your apartment. Spencer understood that people had a tendency to give certain animals bad reputations, and he was trying to overcome an irrational fear. It wasn't like he was going to hold a black mamba or some kind of constrictor! So why did his anxiety bubble in his chest?
As you both stepped out of the elevator, he sighed out a breath. Fearing the moments to come.
"We're heere!~" you sang, bringing his hand up to kiss his knuckles. He chuckled at the gesture and pressed a kiss to you forehead.
The first thing he noticed was that the apartment smelled of you. He also noticed the decore, that looked like the personification of your personality. Pictures of friends and loved ones, fairy lights instead of the overhead light, a small, but clearly very loved kitchen. It eased his nerves, being in a space that was very clearly created by you, for you.
He smiled as he heard you cooing, likely doting on the snake. Spencer turned the corner and saw you peering down at a, not even three feet long, corn snake with pale orange and pink markings. It was on the smaller side likely didnt need that big of an enclosure. He knew you well enough to know that you probably spoiled your pets more than your people.
"Do you wanna say hi?" You asked, glancing over you shoulder. You had your finger pressed to the glass as the snake slowly inched closer to boop itself through the glass.
A jolt of adrenaline ran through him as he hesitated. "I- uh- w-well- she- she seems pleasant-?" He offered, much to your amusement.
"You don't have to hold her! you can just pet her- hell, I'd let you sit and watch her!"
The offer gave him a grain of ease. It was a small little noodle, right? It probably couldn't even bite his ring finger- and corn snakes arent even venomous!
"Spencer?"
"I- I can hold her!"
He almost felt his soul leave his body with the words. But he refused to take them back, so he would stand to mentally curse himself.
'Coward'
You smiled and nodded once as you straightened, guiding him to the kitchen to get something.
"Eating things naturally produces serotonin," you explain, standing on your tip toes to kiss his cheek. "I'm at least gonna try to put you at ease- want some cereal?"
Spencer was both impressed and appreciative. Usually, he was the one who knew things. He did know the fact, but you were the first to speak it. He nodded, unconsciously muttering "uh- yeah... sounds good..."
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It was cruel, how content you were while Spencer was holding his breath. You had a smile as you carefully scooped up the snake, keeping it in your palms despite its efforts to go towards Spencer.
"This is Joan~" you practically beamed as you stroked the reptiles spine. "She's very friendly- do you want to let her smell you?"
Spencer hesitated before nodding and extending his hand. He kept an arms distance.
Joan flicked her tongue at him before booping one of his knuckles, recoiling quickly. "Most reptiles are very curious" you explained, twirling your finger to retract the small living rope. "That's why there are so many videos of people in the everglades being followed by crocks! They're just... scaly puppies!"
He glanced up at you with a cocked brow, biting back a smile as you giggled. "I dont think puppies eat their pray whole- and methodically too!"
"They eat the head first so the limbs dont get in the way!" you finished in sync, excitment growing with each word. You shared a beaming smile, no one knew snake facts, and no one liked sharing knowledge like Spencer.
"You're the first person to know that!"
"You're the first person to finish a fact with me instead of interrupting!"
Apparently, snakes can sense collective happiness, since Joan was trying to get closer to Spencer while dodging his gesturing. "Careful!" You giggled, taking her in your other hand.
You both stood there, simply admiring the curious noodle in silence.
"Why'd you name her Joan?" He asked, cocking his head.
"Indiana Jones is afraid of snakes," you respond, extending the snake in silent offer. "I was going for irony, but people just think of Joan Jett." As Spencer, too, extended his hand.
"She's- She's wrapping around me-" He gasped after a second, glancing between you and Joan. "Wh-what do I do?"
His fear earned him a chuckle from you as you shook your head. "Chill out- just breathe." Now, Joan was curling around his fingers, still joining the two of you. "You're ok, she likes you-"
He handled his panic fairly well. Was he afraid? Yes. Hyperventilating? Maybe he took 'breathe' too literally.
But Joan? Joan was loving him! She slithered around his wrist, his palm, his fingers. Eventually, she nested with her tail around his thumb, body twice wrapped around his palm, and her head resting contently between his middle and ring fingers.
He slowly lifted his hand, twisting slightly so he could better admire her. A choked, nervous giggle escaped him as he looked back to you.
You nodded at him, giggling back at him. "See? You're alright."
It was a jittery moment, but sweet all the same. He conquered a fear, you saw him smile, win win.
You put your forearms on his shoulders as you stood on your tiptoes, careful not to touch him with your hands. "Having fun?" You teased, bumping your noses together.
He hummed, putting his other hand on the small of your back. "I always have fun with you."
You pressed a peck to his lips. "Even when I force you to hold a salmonella ridden, living pitri dish?"
He grimmaced and shook his head. "Get away from me."
But he didn't oblige when you kissed him again.
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vshiftsss · 15 hours ago
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AN INTERVIEW WITH YASMIN MONET - (KATSEYE DR)
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questions from this post by @heartavenue!!
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𝖭𝗈𝗐 𝖯𝗅𝖺𝗒𝗂𝗇𝗀: 𝖦𝖾𝗍 𝗍𝗈 𝗄𝗇𝗈𝗐 𝖸𝖺𝗌𝗆𝗂𝗇 𝖬𝗈𝗇𝖾𝗍 𝗈𝖿 𝖪𝖠𝖳𝖲𝖤𝖸𝖤 | 𝖳𝖾𝖾𝗇 𝖵𝗈𝗀𝗎𝖾
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INTERVIEWER: Before we start, can you just introduce yourself for anyone who may not know you?
YASMIN: Of course! Hello everyone, my name is Yasmin Monét, and I am a singer, dancer, and actress. Though my most notable role is my position in KATSEYE as the leader, one of two main dancers, and a vocalist.
INTERVIEWER: What is your favorite memory of the Dream Academy?
YASMIN: My favorite memory by far is when we all went to Korea for a mission. It was such an eye-opening experience, to absorb an entirely new culture, an entirely new environment...plus, we got to see HYBE headquarters? We got to meet LE SSERAFIM? Literally one of the best moments of my life. In that moment, I knew I had to secure my spot in KATSEYE.
INTERVIEWER: What is your least favorite memory from the show?
YASMIN: Every time someone got eliminated. It would always leave such a gloomy effect on the rest of the girls, including myself. We didn't want to see our friends leave. We wanted to enjoy this experience together. And that's the fucked up thing about these survival shows, like...not all of us can make it, no matter how badly we want it to happen.
INTERVIEWER: What did you enjoy the most about being on the Dream Academy?
YASMIN: The friendships you build in settings like that are stronger than ever. 'Cause, like, you're competing, but at the end of the day, we all got to a point where we were just as happy for our friends as we were for ourselves. I still talk to everyone I met during Dream Academy, too. So yeah, the friendships.
INTERVIEWER: What did you enjoy the least?
YASMIN: I think I enjoyed the mental battle the least. While it did prepare me for what I do now, it's just too much stress to put on one person. Especially when you're at the risk of being eliminated and ripped from your dream forever. Sounds dramatic, I know, but it's how I felt during Dream Academy. I am very lucky to be where I am now.
INTERVIEWER: If you could pick one person who did not make the final lineup to join KATSEYE, who would you choose and why?
YASMIN: Oh...that's a hard one. Everyone was so talented! Literally, if we could've made like, a twenty member group, I would be down. But if I had to pick one person, I would probably pick...Marquise or Nayoung. Both of them are insanely talented and I can definitely seeing them pulling off KATSEYE's concept. Their take on Gnarly would be interesting to see, too!
INTERVIEWER: What were your first impressions of your members?
YASMIN: Hmm...let's see.
Sophia: Nice, sociable girl, but she knew what she came for. I admired her drive.
Megan: Literally clicked automatically. I think it was because we had such similar personalities and senses of humor.
Lara: Intimidated, but in a way. She just has that undeniable it girl vibe about her.
Manon: Same thing, but we bonded easily. She showed appreciation for my sister's music, too, and we got closer through our similar interests.
Yoonchae: She was so quiet, yet she was on top of it from the get go. I could tell she also had the end goal in mind, but I did want to get to know her better.
Daniela: So funny. Loved her from the first moment I met her. I also remember literally asking her for guidance during dance practice cause I loved her dancing so much.
INTERVIEWER: Who did you meet first?
YASMIN: I met Megan first.
INTERVIEWER: Who are you the closest to?
YASMIN: Megan, Manon, and Dani.
INTERVIEWER: How long have you been training for?
YASMIN: I have been through vocal training since I was 5. I started acting around the same time. I started dancing when I was around 10 years old, but everything else began when I first auditioned. Songwriting and producing are just hobbies of mine, so I wouldn't call that training.
INTERVIEWER: How did you join the Dream Academy? Did you audition, get scouted, or something else?
YASMIN: I auditioned.
INTERVIEWER: What is your position in the group?
YASMIN: I am the leader, a main dancer alongside Daniela, and a vocalist. I also try to involve myself in the songwriting and production aspect.
INTERVIEWER: If you could change your position, which position would you choose and why?
YASMIN: Honestly, we don't really have rappers in our group, but I would be open to going down that path. Rapping has always intrigued me, and I think it would be cool to see what I can do with it. We'll see what the future brings.
INTERVIEWER: If you could trade lives with a member who would you and why?
YASMIN: Mmm...probably Daniela. I mean, she was on America's Got Talent. The girl was already a superstar.
INTERVIEWER: What song do you listen to get you hyped before a performance?
YASMIN: I don't have a specific song, but the girl group FLO is constantly in my rotation. Same with Kendrick Lamar, Beyonce, and Doechii. Whatever feels right in the moment.
INTERVIEWER: What is your favorite song in your discography?
YASMIN: Debut has such a special place in my heart, so I have to go with that one. Though, Gnarly is a close second for me. I love the more confident and showy songs we put out, if that makes sense.
INTERVIEWER: What is your favorite choreography?
YASMIN: Once again, Debut. The different formations and the unique moves - like the main leg swing, and that kind of stuff - it was hard to learn, but it was very exciting.
INTERVIEWER: Which choreography was the hardest to learn? The easiest?
YASMIN: Hardest one was Debut, mainly because it was our first choreography meant for the group. You know what I mean? We had to make an impression and show everyone that this is what we can do. Especially with a completely new song, too. There was a lot of pressure for that one to be perfect, but it was also incredibly exciting.
For the easiest one, I would say My Way. The song isn't that complicated musically, so the choreography is very gentle and simple for us.
INTERVIEWER: What was your initial reaction to joining the final lineup?
YASMIN: I'm sure we all saw the clip of me crying my eyes out on livestream. It genuinely felt like I was dreaming. My name being called first? Out of everyone? It changed my whole mindset. That moment told me that all my hard work paid off, that all the doubts I had were pointless. It was surreal. Afterwards we went backstage, I called my sister Victoria as soon as I got access to my phone. I had never heard her cry so hard in her life. She was all like, "That's my sister right there! You made it! We're all so proud of you, girl!"
Yeah, it was...it was crazy. Absolutely insane.
INTERVIEWER: What was your initial reaction to Gnarly?
YASMIN: Shock. Pure shock. I could already tell it was a risky move, but I loved it. They had pitched the concepts for the upcoming EP a bit before we heard the demo, so from the jump I knew I was gonna like it. But hearing the lyrics and that beat? Yeah...I saw the vision.
INTERVIEWER: How do you feel about the Eyekons reaction to Gnarly?
YASMIN: They all honestly had the same reaction I expected. The first few days, the girls and I were kinda anxious. Like what if they really don't get it like we did? But the minute our first performance video dropped, it was like something switched, and suddenly a lot of people got it. I'm glad for that.
INTERVIEWER: Who is the loudest member?
YASMIN: Definitely Dani or Manon. The amount of times I hear them screaming while I'm on live...I love it, but I can't replicate it. I respect it.
INTERVIEWER: Who is the most talkative?
YASMIN: Sophia in general, me when I'm talking about an interest of mine. I'm mostly a listener when it truly comes to it, but when it's a realm I'm well-versed in, I can't help myself.
INTERVIEWER: Who is the best cook?
YASMIN: Sophia. And Lara. Both of them make the best food, dude, it's hard to compete.
INTERVIEWER: Who is the mom of the group?
YASMIN: Me, and...Sophia, again. She's just like an all rounder. She does everything, it's amazing.
INTERVIEWER: And that's all we have for our interview today! Is there anything else you want to shout out or say?
YASMIN: Please check out KATSEYE's newest song, Gnarly! Out on all music platforms. You can find us on TikTok, Instagram, and Weverse, as well. As for myself, my handle is @/yasminmonet on all platforms! Thank you for having me.
𝖭𝖤𝖷𝖳: 𝖪𝖠𝖳𝖲𝖤𝖸𝖤 (캣츠아이) "𝖦𝗇𝖺𝗋𝗅𝗒" 𝖮𝖿𝖿𝗂𝖼𝗂𝖺𝗅 𝖬𝖵
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note... wow! this literally took two months! i've been so burnt out recently in terms of posting, but my motivation has been renewed...and i have a few new (and revamped) drs i want to talk about! so hopefully i can stay on it this time. also, i know gabriela just came out, but i'm just going with it. my fault for being late 😟
tags... @avelineshifts @julianasversee @miaojune @visualcve
END OF POST - HAPPY SHIFTING!
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e-vay · 14 hours ago
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Do you think WW3 is gonna happen? People say it's going to happen while others are saying it's not. I don't know what to believe; all I'm saying is if it happens, just know that you are one of my favorite Sonic artist.😭❤️
I normally don't reply to messages about these kinds of topics. I try to keep my blog relatively light because not only is it a means of escape for a lot of you, it's a means of escape for me as well. But when I read this message, it broke my heart and I felt the need to respond.
Honestly, I'm scared too. It's impossible to know what will come next, and that lack of certainty can lead to a lot of different emotions. If you're feeling scared, anxious, numb, angry--all of those feelings are completely valid and you're not alone in feeling them.
That being said, I am consciously making the choice to not be paralyzed by fear. I am going to keep doing what I do every day-- living my life to the best of my ability and doing my best to make the world better through empathy and compassion. For as long as I'm capable, I'm going to keep making art because I love doing it and it makes me happy, and in doing so I hope it makes others happy too. If I can make even just one person feel better because of my art, then I count that a success.
That was very kind of you to reach out to me and let me know that you like my art, even when I'm sure you've got a million other things on your mind. It means a lot, and even though I don't know you, you matter to me. Please don't forget that.
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larxicana · 1 day ago
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PTSD Representation within DATV
God I just need to talk about how much I love how the game handles Lucanis's PTSD, especially as someone living with PTSD.
Spoilers for Veilguard and Lucanis's story line under the cut.
Grab a drink and a snack. This is a long one XD
After -checks notes- 450hrs into Veilguard, I can confidently say that Lucanis is my favorite character, and not just because of his lethal sad puppy eyes. For this post, I'll just be focusing specifically on his PTSD and how it's portrayed.
So we first meet Lucanis in the Ossuary, after a very dramatic slaughter of some Venatori guards. For a guy who has been locked up and tortured for a year, he looks pretty damn good. I know this is just game bullshit, but I like it from the perspective of a mask, a protective front. He looks collected, well put together, suave, the perfect image of a master assassin, a Crow, a world class mage-killer. This is kind of what someone would expect him to look like. This is what he's supposed to look like. He doesn't look like a man who has been tortured for a year, because it's hidden behind an acceptable appearance.
Of course the deeper we go through the Ossuary, we see evidence of the horrendous experiments that went on there, just a tiny fraction, a hint of what Lucanis went through. Then afterwards, he talks a little about his experience with the others as we walk around doing quests. One such dialog always stuck with me:
Davrin: So this Ossuary Rook found you in, what goes on down there? Lucanis: Nothing good. Davrin: How did you survive? Lucanis: Think nothing, feel nothing, except what you need to escape. Davrin: What's left? Lucanis: If you're lucky? Revenge. And bad dreams.
Every time I hear this, I feel like someone is squeezing my heart with both hands. First of all, there's a very clear deflection in each line Lucanis says. "And bad dreams" is delivered with a touch of humor and lightness, the sort of tone that's used to make the person you're talking to smile or chuckle, which would diffuse the tense moment, take the pressure off of him and sweep his true feelings under the rug while Davrin is distracted from them by the joking tone.
Once again, that mask, that front, is in place. Davrin expects the events of the Ossuary to be horrific, so Lucanis plays a bit of the part, agrees that it was horrible, but it's so incredibly surface level, and he keeps it that way. As Davrin asks questions, tries to dig a little deeper, Lucanis pulls the card of "I survived the Ossuary and all I got was this stupid shirt."
The world conditions us to wear the mask; no one actually wants a real answer when they ask "how are you?" When we've experienced trauma, we hold onto that mask even tighter because we feel damaged or hurt on the inside. We aren't supposed to be that way, feel that way. No one wants to deal with that.
A Crow isn't supposed to be that way. The Demon of Vyrantium isn't supposed to be broken, damaged. He's supposed to be a professional, a master class assassin, the heir to the seat of First Talon.
We see a lot of Lucanis struggling with who he is after the Ossuary as well, which is one of my favorite details. There are moments, like after Weisshaupt, when Lucanis says "I thought after the Ossuary, I could still take out a target." Or when we first meet him in the cell, when Rook says Caterina promised them a mage-killer and Lucanis replies "I can still work." During the quest Inner Demons, there are so many thought fragment notes where Lucanis says he isn't supposed to be like this, that he's better than this, that he can't be like this.
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God, breaks my heart. I empathize with that so much. Something I personally struggled with a lot when learning to live with PTSD was the fact that I felt like I wasn't the same person I was before my trauma. I was so angry, because I really liked the person I was before. I was happy, and now all of a sudden, I felt like the exact opposite. For quite some time, I couldn't think of it as anything else. I didn't want to move forward, because that would be accepting that I've changed.
Then there's the expectation of living up to what people remember you as and the shame when you fall flat and the people you care about see that shortcoming. You feel like a burden. They didn't sign up to deal with your bullshit.
Think of it like carrying an overcrowded tray of drinks. It's heavy, cumbersome, and any jostle to your person spills a little bit of that water. Any obstacle, big or small, threatens the delicate balance of the sudden armful of crap you're forced to carry. And when you do fumble, make a mistake, step where you thought there was solid ground, only to find a pot hole, those glasses come crashing down in a loud and explosive commotion that draws the attention of everyone around you. All of a sudden you're soaked, surrounded by the signs of your failure, and you feel so embarrassed and ashamed because you just caused a scene. All of a sudden, people are asking if you're ok, and we all know that just makes it worse. They either offer to help you clean up or eye the mess with judgement and neither of those options feel good.
Lucanis is a mage-killer. He was hired to kill mages, something he's done hundreds of times. And yes it's a near impossible task and he gets so close the first time, but when his reality and sense of self is already shaken, any little jostle can threaten the delicate balance he's trying to hold on to.
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Inner Demons is probably my favorite quest out of the entire game. It is such a fantastic representation of how PTSD feels to the body and the mind.
Before Spite even pulls Rook into his host's mind, we see that Lucanis is extremely irritated. He is extremely quick to anger, which was something we haven't really seen from him before. He's gotten annoyed with others, but never raised his voice. Here, he's snapping at Viago and growling about how he doesn't know how to deal with the situation. Teia is definitely not helping when she tells Lucanis to reason with Viago, applying more pressure when the poor thing is already pulled so tight, he's about to break.
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A common symptom of PTSD is that sudden and explosive anger at seemingly small things. I once got so mad while trying to hang curtains, that I literally ripped the bracket out of the wall, threw it, screamed, then broke down sobbing.
Once Spite pulls Rook into Lucanis's mind, they're confronted with four different people they have to get past to get to the heart of the prison, where Lucanis has barricaded himself. It's pretty obvious these are protective walls he's built for himself, to keep people out and to keep the parts of himself he's ashamed of inside. However, we can already see these walls starting to crumble, because the first room Rook steps into, the outer most wall, is supposed to be their room.
Rook: Nobody's here. Spite: Of course not. Rook can't be here. Rook: Why not? Spite: You open doors. You don't close them.
Through the constant support Rook has given Lucanis, he's starting to allow some of the damaged parts of him show around them, whether it's a conscious or unconscious decision. He's starting to feel safe around them.
This is massive. I mentioned above that showing that vulnerability, that "damaged" side of one's self can be full of so much embarrassment and shame, but finding those people you can be your entire self with? Scars and breakdowns and everything, and they still love and support you without judgement? That shit is priceless. I can't put into words how good that feels. I love seeing Lucanis find that person. (I love being that person when I play the game.)
Deeper into the prison, Rook meets with Lucanis's version of Caterina, Harding, Neve, and Illario, each getting more vulnerable with what they say and represent.
I like Harding's scene in particular. If Rook takes Harding with them to free Lucanis, she is not quiet about how she doesn't trust Lucanis, how abominations only bring trouble and pain. Then afterwards, she boldly threatens him with a rather twisted arrow, one she bought specifically to use against him, should he turn against her and her friends. Later on, well before the Inner Demons quest, they have this conversation:
Lucanis: Harding, I am giving the arrow back to you. Harding: What? No! I gave you that to show you that I trust you. Lucanis: And I am giving it back to show that I trust you.
Beautiful. Stunning. One of my favorite party dialogs in the game. It shows their development perfectly, and all with just 3 lines.
But it makes her appearance in the prison fantastic, because Harding refers to Lucanis as "the prisoner," boldly asks Rook if they're sure there ever was a Lucanis and not just the demon, and points out that the mind they're standing in is broken and wrong, that it can't possible belong to a human being. Lucanis trusts Harding at this point, he knows this, understands this, but trauma and fear are never logical. You can know and understand something perfectly, but that doesn't mean your body is going to listen.
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Illario gets a really good line, too.
Illario: He'll [Lucanis] carry this prison with him forever, and fill it with corpses, given time.
The theme of the prison is that Lucanis sees himself as a monster after coming back from the Ossuary as an abomination (btw I hate this term and want to burn it out of the game universe.) So, this line is probably talking about how freeing Lucanis from his mind prison would get people killed, because he'll lose control of Spite and go on a rampage and all that.
However, it also makes me think about the fear of losing the people he cares about, because suddenly he carries this trauma that can push or frighten people away. The "corpses" aren't literal, but figurative, to describe the relationships he might lose. Lucanis has his new found family that he cares about, Rook included, and he doesn't want to lose that. All his life, the only thing people wanted from him, saw value in, were his skills as a Crow. That warmth, care, and accepting for parts of himself that have nothing to do with his skills as an assassin, but things he actually likes and enjoys… It's something he's never had before.
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FINALLY we get to the best part of the mind prison. The part that fucking resonates with me every single time I play the quest.
Rook finds Lucanis standing in the middle of the torture area, where all the tables, corpses, and cages are, where he was cut open and tested on. This is where his trauma truly stems from, so it's really cool that we find him here.
It's pretty neat to see what Spite was referring to all those times he tried to leave when Lucanis was sleeping or when he told Rook that their deal was broken, that he wanted "out." He clearly doesn't understand trauma and mental health when it comes to mortals. So seeing the prison Lucanis’s mind has become, he just assumes it’s the actual prison.
We get a really awesome bit of conversation between the three here.
Spite: He breaks our agreement. His mind. Is still here. He wants. To stay here. So he keeps. ME HERE!! Lucanis: Mierda! Why would I want to stay? Even in my head, this place is a nightmare. Rook: Right, but it's a nightmare you already defeated... I get it now. As painful as the Ossuary was for you, it was better than the alternative. Lucanis: What alternative? Rook: The Ossuary, Zara? Those were problems you could solve with a blade. But healing again? Learning to live life as an abomination? There's no clear answer there. Lucanis: No! I... That is not... Ugh!! Damn it, Rook!!
And it's TRUE!! When healing from trauma, the treatments (therapy, support groups, medication, etc.) are important, but recovering is not straight forward, one size fits all. And that can be so frustrating and scary. I can only speak for myself here, of course, but I was so angry all the time. I didn't sign up for this shit, for this extra work, this fight for normalcy and sense of myself again, when I already had it. In an instant, my life was flipped upside down and shaken out, like a puzzle that showed a picture of who I am, but was chucked at the ground to be reduced to pieces, and now I had to work to put it together again. It's also not easy to admit that something is wrong, that you could be wrong.
Spite turns to Rook:
Spite: Make him leave! Rook, diplomatic option: He's trying to leave, Spite. It's... complicated. Mortals can't just change themselves. It takes a lot of time.
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Beautiful. Perfection. Such a great response. Healing, recovery, learning to live the new normal... it's difficult, confusing, and takes such a long time. It can feel like being stuck in a prison, wandering endless, dark hallways with no sign of a possible exit, to the point where you start to wonder if there even is an exit.
The next line Lucanis says is my favorite out of the entire quest. Every time I hear it, I get a little emotional. The first time I went through the quest, I had to pause the game because it hit me so hard.
Lucanis: Rook, you're right. There has to be a way forward. It's just... so much! I cannot see where to begin!
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Fuck, man.
I don't think I can properly put it into words how perfect this line of dialog is. This is it. This is what it feels like.
When I first started learning to cope with my PTSD, my therapist told me that her other clients going through a similar journey told her that it took a long time, but they eventually found a light at the end of the tunnel, that hope to overcome the struggle and darkness and weight of it all. I was never a pessimist before my trauma. I was always painfully optimistic, found the good in everything, but this... I didn't believe her. I 100% did not believe that I would find that light. It felt like so much. God, it was suffocating some days, debilitating. It felt like I was being asked to move a goddamn mountain. How was I supposed to move an entire mountain??
The answer, was to move smaller, more manageable rocks, one by one.
To start small.
This is the advice Rook gives Lucanis. They tell him to start small. Find an achievable goal and work towards that. For Lucanis, it's finding common ground with Spite, a goal they can both work towards together.
When the scene eventually comes back to the bar, Lucanis has a lightness to him, clarity. He knows what he needs to do to move forward. This one goal isn't going to get his mind out of the prison it made for itself, but it's getting him moving again, walking forward. The wards and guards have been dealt with, the doors are open.
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Healing and learning to meet himself where he's at still won't be easy and there will be set backs, breakdowns, arguments with his inner demon, but every step forward, no matter how small, is progress. Every time Lucanis stumbles and falls, he'll start to remember how to stand back up again, and if he can't do it himself that day, maybe he just doesn't have the strength or he starts looking at the mountain again instead of just the smaller rocks, he's got people there who will take his hand and help him back to his feet, bring his attention back down to the manageable.
Thank you for coming to my TED Talk XD
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I know I haven't finished this soulmates series yet but what about another one where you and kai are friends who love each other and hoping to get each other's names and beomgyu is a bully who is always fucking with the both of you and making your life a living hell but guess what... you fucking end up getting beomgyu's name. You expect him to not be interested in being with you and just let you and kai be but no he fully wants you to be together and basically orders you to cut contact with kai
You obviously don't do that which makes him more and more violent against kai and so you and kai secretly conspire to run away together and you do. Months or years pass and you think you've successfully shaken beomgyu off until he shows up to your house one day and he's out for blood...
--
It all started when you had stayed back late, grading papers for the class as the TA. You hadn’t expected to find any other students lingering around so you were surprised to hear the sound of someone playing the guitar in the music room.
They sounded really good and you were curious who it was so you went to check it out but to your dismay, it was none other than Beomgyu. You tried to quietly slip out but Beomgyu noticed you, throwing a mocking remark your way that you decide to ignore in favour of running away.
But Beomgyu wasn't happy with that, his long legs helping him quickly catch up to you. He grabs you by the wrist and all but slams you against a wall, hissing in your face for daring to ignore him.
"Don't fucking ignore me, bitch." He snarls and then grins at your shivering form. "What? Got nothing to say now that you don't have your lapdog to take your beating for you?"
Oh how you wish Kai was here. He wouldn't have been able to stand up to Beomgyu but damn would he have tried.
He reaches over to your face and you flinch, worried he'll slap you, your sudden movement pulling your top to the side and exposing your bra to him.
"What do we have here?" He laughs, thumbing the lacey strap. Your entire body goes cold. "Didn't peg you for a slut. What? You wore this hoping he'd see it and fuck you?"
You shake your head, telling him this had nothing to do with Kai. Truth is you'd worn it because you were feeling bad about your body and wanted something to give you confidence back even if no one saw it. You certainly never wished for Beomgyu to see it.
But here he was, ripping your top apart so he can get a better look. You yelp when he does it, and try to cover your chest up with your hands but he quickly gathers them in his own hands and pins them roughly to the wall, growling at you "keep those here if you know what's good for you."
You don't dare move them even when he lets go, even when his hands go your chest to cup your breasts through your bra, even when he's pinching and pulling at your nipples, even when he's pressing his leg between your thighs and ordering you to grind against it.
"Come on, baby, we don't want this to go to waste. I'll give you what that cuck can't. I know your body is dying to be felt up by a real man."
You shake your head, follwing his orders but refusing to acknowledge his words. But that's not good enough for Beomgyu because he grabs your face, his fingers digging into your cheeks, "you don't look very grateful. I am doing you a favour. No one else would give a stupid whore like you the time of day so you better thank me for it, bitch."
The threat in his voice is clear. He won't tolerate your disobedience for much longer so you quickly give in to his humiliating demands, thanking him for touching you, for violating you.
"That's better." He murmurs, satisfied. "I prefer it when you're honest. After all I can feel your filthy pussy dripping down my thigh."
He wasn't lying. God you hate your body for reacting to his unwanted touch.
"Bet you're close. Why don't you beg nicely for me to let you cum."
"Please." You sob, wanting this to end. "Please let me cum."
"Please who?" He pushes, grabbing you by the ass and pushing you down harder on his thigh, making you cry out. "Please beomgyu."
"Good girl." He purrs, moving you over his thigh, his movements much more deliberate and effective than yours, quickly bringing you to the edge and shoving you over it.
Your hands finally move off the wall to grab his shoulders, attempting to ground yourself as your body shakes and shivers through the distressing orgasm, but beomgyu doesn't seem to mind.
As your body comes down from its sweltering high, a chill comes over it when you feel beomgyu's hard cock pressed against your hip, and bile rises in your throat as you think of what he might do to you next.
But to your surprise, he steps back, taking off his jacket and draping it over your shoulders to cover you up.
"If you tell anyone about this, I'll make him bleed."
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kiwanopie · 3 days ago
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Fuckin’ Dickhead!
CivilianOsamu x Hero!Reader
cw: atsumu
wc: 1k
Atsumu’s gonna kick his brother’s ass, he thinks.
For hiding such a big secret like this from him and the rest of the family, keeping quiet when he’s finally met someone new and seemingly permanent, and omitting him from his new found happiness. Sure he may have teased, but he’d be delighted to know that his twin brother has found his heart in some young beautiful dame. That his ugly mug could even still pull, really. And that after the last fiasco, he’s finally opened himself back up to love. He would have reveled in that, took him out to dinner and gave him a right kick in the ass.
Although finding out the new object of his affections was a hero of all things, that would’ve warranted a more extreme reaction.
He should’ve told him! Sure there’s a secrecy in these kinds of things, safety and all that. But at least it would’ve been better than finding out the way he did.
Stumbling in his brother’s apartment in his sweats and a stained T-Shirt, hair mussed from an earlier practice, and halfway through digging in his brother’s fridge for any leftovers he may have left behind.
He’s pocketing one of his nephews yogurt packs when a voice calls out behind him.
“Baby?”
Atsumu freezes. There’s a woman in his brother’s apartment with a voice like an angel and she’s very obviously not his bitch ex-wife. Standing there mistaking his broad back for his twin's and sending him reeling because his piece of shit brother is officially getting more play than him.
He has no choice but to show himself, languidly lifting his back as you continue. “You’re back from work early? Did something happen?”
Atsumu sighs. “Sorry.” He emerges from the fridge. “But I ain’t yer boyfriend, angel-“
And then he freezes.
You're clad in nothing but his Onigiri shirt when he finally gets a good look at you. Hair curly and slightly wet from a later shower, and smelling intoxicatingly like lavender.
You're as pretty as you are on T.V. more pretty even. Resolute and tangible, smoke curling at your shoulders.
He’s dreaming. “Uh-“ This isn’t real. “You’re-“
“Oh my god, you two really are twins.” You breathlessly shudder.
He’s hallucinating he’s sure, but just to make sure he is, he asks - admittedly, the most straightforward question he could muster. “Are you… You fuckin’ my brother, Siren?”
You don't really blink at that. “You can just call me ____.” You say. “A lot, man, if I'ma honest."
Atsumu nods slowly, and figures whatever psychosis he’s in had to have been brought on by that spike Omi aimed at his head earlier. “Okay.”
“You two been at it for a while?”
“Coming up on sixteen months, yeah.”
He nods again. “Am I having a stroke?”
“Smile?”
He does so humorlessly.
You shake your pretty head. “I don’t think so, no.”
Atsumu stands still for a long while, reaching up to run a hand through his hair before staring into dead space.
And then officially freaking out.
“You’re the Siren hero and yer fuckin’ ma brother?!” He exclaims. “You’ve been screwin’ him for almost two years and this is the first I’m hearin’ about it?! Am I going insane?!!”
“I’ve been his girlfriend for almost two years, Miya-san. And it’s only being kept a secret for you and your family’s safety.”
“Miy- Well, ya might as well call me Atsumu since we’re up and fuckin’ in laws at this point!” He breathes. “Holy shi- Does the little one know?!”
“I mean…Yes,” You snort. “What? I’m here like all the time.”
“Wha-“ He points a finger at you. “Do not get cross wit me, sweet cheeks. I’m tryin’ my damndest to make sense of this whole situation without fuckin… having an anureism!” Atsumu chastises. “How on god’s green earth did you manage to start datin’ my brother of all people?!”
“He and I met in his shop when I stumbled in a little after hours and we hit it off super quickly.”You say with such genuine glee in your eyes, little swooning sway in your stance; he could shoot his brother at point blank. “It was nothing special but it was special I guess. I'd probably ramble if I really got into it.”
Atsumu sighs, stepping back from the fridge and leaning his back on the island as he blows at a long breath through his mouth and reaches for his head again, fixing a few of the strands in place. Out of all the fucking people in the world, one of the nation’s - No, the world's top three heroes is standing in his brother’s kitchen in nothing but his shirt and her drawls. One of the world's top heroes has been standing in his kitchen in nothing but his shirt and her drawls, and is doing so - purely out of coincidence! Because somehow, in some way, his brother has been blessed by some divine power that has favored him over himself, and in some sick twist of fate; not only has his brother been getting more play than him, but he currently has access to probably some of the best pussy this century. I mean, c’mon. You're a siren of all things.
“U-Uh but you can’t tell anyone about this, Atsumu,” You say. “Seriously, this has to stay a secret.”
He rolls his eyes. “Yeah, yeah. I get it. Super villains, and evil assassins, and all that mumbo-jumbo,” Tsumu huffs. “It just blows that I’m hearin’ about it now.”
You frown and bow apologetically. “I’m sorry, Tsumu.”
He turns to you for a long while and shrugs, peeling the skin off his bottom lip in thought. You’re so stupidly pretty, and he smells like sweaty old spice! Atsumu sighs again. “S’alright,”
“Welcome to the family, anyways.” He says.
You smile. “Thank you.”
Atsumu returns it with a friendly lilt of his head, uncrossing previously crossed arms and pushing himself up from the counter.
And then he pauses.
“Can I ask ya a favor?”
You tilt your head. “Sure, anything.”
Atsumu’s on his way back to his own apartment when his cell phone dings.
Samu
I’m gonna beat your ass.
Samu
Did you fucking ask my girlfriend for an autograph?!
Mama’s World
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lipstickreptile · 2 days ago
Text
Happy birthday Haymitch!
A little one-shot made inspired by one of my incorrect quotes.
Thank you to @hayffieee for making the art for this! It's far better than the story I wrote for it. Perhaps I will do some fixes later but I wanted to publish it today! So here it is
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"Does Haymitch even like cake?".
Peeta is walking slowly behind her, holding the cake as steady as he can. The distance between their house and Haymitch's is not that long. It does however feel much further when you're holding a 6 hour project in your hands. "Come on, Katniss. Everybody likes cake."
"Do you think he has ever had a proper birthday?".
"I can't imagine he has. I wouldn't either if I had to be a mentor every year".
Katniss hopes this doesn't trigger something for him. Even before he was in the games his birthday must have been a bitter day. Katniss and Peeta used to have a classmate who's birthday on July 6th. That was bad enough. Frankly the whole week afterwards used to be a sad affair.
Peeta stops in his tracks. "What's going on Katniss?".
"I'm just worried for him. The line between relapse and sober is very thin".
"Oh fuck. I was not supposed to put whiskey in the frosting?".
Katniss chuckles, unwillingly so. She is genuinely worried boredom will force Haymitch back into alcohol.
“We should have invited Effie out”. Peeta says casually. He doesn’t look away from the cake for one second. Slowly following behind Katniss that is leading the way.
“It would have been weird if we did”.
“What do you mean by that?”. Peeta has always been Effie’s boy. He spent a few more months in the Capitol post-rebellion and spent months with her there before he was cleared to go back to 12. They must have gotten even closer during that time.
“Their relationship is kinda….”.
“Non-platonic”. Peeta adds, a smirk on his face.
“You think so? They were always fighting and bickering. At times I thought Effie would kill him in his sleep”. They did kiss goodbye though which Katniss found a bit out of character for them. But she won’t tell Peeta that. It would only back up his argument which he would be rather smug about it.
“So do people who have been married for a long time”.
Katniss doesn’t have a comeback for that. He does have a point, but the image of Haymitch and Effie together seems too bizarre for her. “We can invite her next year. Maybe your birthday. You were always her favorite after all”.
Peeta doesn’t deny it. “And you were always Haymitch’s favorite”.
Katniss knocks on Haymitch’s door. They never wait for him to open, it’s only to announce their presence. Back in the day they would usually find him drunk on the floor and it wouldn’t matter much if they knocked or not. Now that he is sober privacy might be something he wants.
It’s rather quiet once they enter which worries her. Haymitch’s doctor told her that relapse is very common within the first year. “Should we come back?”. Peeta doesn’t seem to like his own idea. He desperately wants to put the cake down even if it results in it being spoiled in the hot house.
“Let me check his cupboard first”.
“A bit rude to snoop in his stuff on his birthday?”.
“Yeah ok, but what if he is drinking again?”. Peeta places the cake on a little table standing by the door. He has had enough of carrying it around. “Today would be the day he would relapse”. He agrees.
“Thank you!”.
Haymitch’s house is very much alike theirs, but the floor plan is mirrored. Where the kitchen is in their house lies the living room in Haymitch’s. Therefore they quickly waltz into the wrong room where they find their old mentor on the couch, no shirt and a woman naked on top of him.
Katniss is so stunned that her mouth goes wide open.
Only the naked back of the woman is visible. Her blond hair is swaying back and forth. They only get to stare for a few moments, but it is enough to start wondering. Who in town has gotten a liking to Haymitch? No way Haymitch would pay someone for their "services".
"Ready for your birthday present, darling.” The Capitol accent is impossible not to recognize
“And what would that be, Miss Trinket?”.
Katniss looks at Peeta, she is stunned and clearly wants to turn in the door to leave. But Peeta on the other hand smirks at the scene in front of him. He seems to have been a few steps ahead of Katniss. His suspicion has turned out to be correct.
“Whatever you would like to do to me…”. Effie whispers sensually into his lips and with that Peeta has had enough. “Do you want us to come back later?”. Katniss swears she could kill him. They could have just walked out.
Haymitch and Effie turn to look at them. She jumps in his lap, awkwardly trying to hide her nudity from the kids. Haymitch is quick in his movements and throws his T-shirt over her head. Seems like this is not the first time someone has walked in on them.
Peeta throws out his hands. “Happy Birthday, old man! Didn’t know you had it in you!“.
“Ever heard of knocking!” Haymitch barks and lifts Effie off his lap, gently placing her in the leather couch.
“We did….”. Katniss mutters, her eyes are on the ceiling at the moment. The less she sees the better.
“I knew your house is not up to date like ours, but if you need a bigger bed, Haymitch…”.
“I’m going to kill….”. Effie gently kick Haymitch in his legs, making him cool down a bit. He takes a deep breath and tries again: “Why are you here?”.
“Celebrating your birthday! It’s the first non-reaping day! We even brought cake!”.
Katniss is so embarrassed she wishes that she could disappear into the floor. “Although I think I preferred being reaped to this”.
“Of course. That was very thoughtful”. He is suddenly very polite, like he has just graduated from Effie’s school of good manners. “If you could give us a few hours…”. He looks over his shoulder at Effie. Katniss swears she could barf from the look they share. She is soon enough halfway out the door, shouting loudly. “YOU CAN COME AND GET US THIS TIME. I am not taking any risks! Be careful with him Effie! He is an old man”.
_
It takes them several hours for them to complete Haymitch’s birthday present, just as Haymitch predicted. They need a shower too before they go and get the kids, but it can wait another 30 minutes. Post-sex-bliss is almost better than the act itself. “This is all a man needs. Good sex on his birthday”
“And you always get it, don’t you?”. Effie pampers his jawline with kisses, the sweet salt of his sweat lingering on her lips.
Haymitch chuckles. “I do. This year with no risk of getting caught….at least that is what I thought”.
´´We will be more careful next year``.
Haymitch cups her chin and whispers sensually to her: “I certainly hope I don’t have to wait until next year”.
Effie sits back up, grinding against him slowly. “Not anymore.” She runs her nails down his chest, stoping right underneath his belly button. “Though I do have to be careful with an old man”.
“If they only knew the truth!”.
“Don’t you dare tell them!´´. Haymitch throws them around in a quick movement, already eager to take her again. They giggle and laugh as they make love again on the couch.
Whiskey only crosses Haymitch’s mind once or twice that day. The first time is when they open his cake later that evening, how well whiskey would taste with it. The second time is when he thinks about how grateful he is to the Capitol, ironically enough.
They made him an addict to alcohol that almost killed him. But they also gave him a far more dangerous addiction. One he could never be sober from.
His family.
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mirensiart · 8 hours ago
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Hi Miry! Amidst all the drama in the fandom rn, I just wanted to thank you for being so chill about everything. Your page has been like a rock for me (and I'm sure many others) whilst we all muddle through. We all appreciate it <3
hello anon <3
and aaah this makes me so happy??? I'm glad my blog has helped you through these trying times 🥹💖
i've been part of very messy and chaotic fandoms in the past cough homestuck cough so i have experience with fandom drama and i am too tired nowadays to deal with all that again 🙈
so i want to try and bring that vibe to my blog to people who also don't want to engage with all the drama
BUT! i do have more advice for fandom stuff if anyone wants to read it under the cut!
ok so i know some people are discouraged with the entire thing going on, but hear me out
if you already tag your stuff appropriately, if you already have a good grasp of the whole fanon/canon thing and don't push your headcanons onto others, if you already have a good fandom etiquette — then you're fine! you're not part of the problem
i know we tend to take fandom criticism personally cause of how much we love the characters and source material, but your life will be so much better if you separate yourself from it
now, if the callout does apply, then don't feel bad either! sometimes you screw up when entering a new fandom and that's ok, just make sure to learn and don't repeat that behavior again!
when i first got into LU i remember looking at the tags throughly to see the fandom etiquette and i did notice the more popular/prominent artists did not tag their stuff with the general loz tags, so i assumed that was the fandom etiquette and copied them
i then later read jojo's post about not tagging LU as LOZ, and i was happy to know that my guess was correct
so again, advice to new people entering a new fandom: before posting anything, look around the main tags, see how others are tagging their stuff and copy them, it's the best way to really make sure you're not crossing any fandom boundaries
anyway, this got super long, but my advice as someone who's been in A LOT of fandoms is to just, take it easy, don't take someone's criticism of your fandom to heart if you're doing nothing wrong AND try to have hobbies outside of fandom, so if drama does happen, it doesn't overwhelm you
and stick to your close circle of friends in the fandom, sometimes making your own curated bubble helps a lot in these cases!
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